DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN: "You can do to them whatever you wish"

by

Joan Alleluia Filemoni-Tofaeono
Weavers' Program
South Pacific Association of Theological Schools (SPATS)
Fiji Islands

OUTLINE

Introduction

1. The Living Social Reality: Violence
1.1 Experiences of Violence : 3 Selected Stories

2. Domestic Violence Against Women

3. The Role of Theological Education and the Church
3.1 The Located-ness of Theological Education in the Problem
3.2 The Located-ness of the Pacific Churches in the Problem
3.3 Voices of the Theologically Trained

4. Clues for Transformation
4.1 Concrete Proposal: One Way Forward
4.2 No More Violence in Paradise: A Plea from the Pacific Women

Conclusion

Endnotes

Appendix

Bibliography

WORD OF WELCOME

Talofa lava and ni sa bula vinaka. Greetings to you all. Instead of going into a detailed personal introduction about my self as I have been asked, I would like to read a poem that speaks of who I am and the context that I am coming from. But before I do so I want to make sure we are all on the same wavelength of understanding. Therefore I wish to start with a simple exercise.

I would ask that you take off your professional academic hat, your executive hat and whatever other hats you may be wearing with you at this gathering. You may now put on your human hat, the hat of our commonality as persons. That is the level that I would like us to dialogue on in the issue that I will address in this presentation.

The issue that I will address in this presentation is only one way in which we have been violated as human persons by the forces from within and without. Before I continue on I will also like to highlight that our social location, (home) and our beings as God's created "beings" have been tremendously violated through the usage of our homeland as the testing ground for nuclear weapon, as the dumping site for nuclear wastes and the immediate obvious effects of global warming and sea level rising.

(Pause ­ sing the following samoan chant of adoration, praise, acknowledging the presence of God in our midst)

MUA IA INA MUA . . .
MUA O. . . MUA O . . . MUA O . . .

INTRODUCTION

What is an issue that is not only an issue for women but also urgently needs to be addressed in theological education in the Pacific island nations / Oceania1 and in this gathering today? This was the question that I wrestled with when I was given the task to write on "Women's Issues in the Pacific" for this Conference.2 I did not need to go far. The answer was right there all around me as not a day goes by that I do not hear, read and see of cases of violence in the media.

The issue that is of urgency to address, especially in theological education, is 'violence' in all forms.3 It is one of the deadliest hu/man-made sicknesses and the cause of many afflictions in the world today, especially for women and children. Volumes of literature have been written and documented internationally on this social ill.4 Attempts have been made globally to eradicate this problem.5 Yet the problem continues to spread like an un-curable epidemic. It seems that it gets perfected as each year goes by.6 The human race continuously comes up with new means and forms of violence to conquer and control others.7

The first section of this presentation looks at the social reality of the island communities in Oceania and the complicated web of sources that contribute to the problem of domestic violence against women. The second section will analyze the problem by drawing on the experiences of victims and their families and raising questions on how these experiences should be recognized. The third section will question the role which theological education plays in the problem. The final section will pinpoint clues for transformation that are helpful in the search to overcome domestic violence against women.

1. The Living Social Reality: Violence

I believe each and every one of us present here today was and has been a victim of some form of violence once or more times in our lives. There is also no doubt that we were and perhaps still are perpetrators of violence in various forms to the powerless and the marginalised in our midst.

The topic of violence is very broad and complicated in itself. We have just experienced what it is like to be put on the spot in front of a circle of academics and well known theologians. I am sure you said to yourself silently, or to your neighbor, "How dare she ask us such a question? Who does she think she is?" You probably even questioned how the organisers could allow such a person to do such a thing. What was your inner reaction when you were asked to look at yourself and identify if you were a victim as well as a perpetrator of violence to anyone at all? Who among us here would like to reveal a dark side of our lives especially in an academic setting as this. If you felt that it was unnecessary to put you in an extremely embarrassing and humiliating experience, can you imagine what it is like to hide the shame of being in an abusive relationship from the very people you know and live with for most of your life? Can you understand why many choose to keep the abuse in secrecy for a long time or forever? Do you also see the need for us to break our silence and do something about the violence within and around ourselves?

It is sickening to read, for instance, in the Fijian newspapers every day8 of cases of violent brutality9 and insanity10 in the form of child molestation,11 incest,12 rape, etc.,13 especially within the family and against children14 and women. The two most common and serious forms of such violence are sexual 15 and domestic16 violence.

This paper, owing to the expectation of the organisers to write on a women's issue, and to the limited time and space, unfortunately will not address the seriousness of the problem of violence also against children.17 Nor will it discuss the forms and the roots of violence. Rather, it will only focus on discussing domestic violence against women as an issue from Oceania. However, it should be highlighted that the violence against children is just as much as the women if not much greater. Therefore, cases of abuse against children will also be cited to share the seriousness of the problem.

The issue itself is and can be very controversial when different perspectives are laid bare for discussion. This presentation seeks to get a point across and to disclose a painful but truthful fact that violence, especially domestic violence, is a problem affecting the lives of many women in the Pacific; and that the Pacific churches and theological institutions in Oceania need to break their silence and their passive behavior on the issue and do something about it.

1.1 Experiences of Violence

Case One

Two young girls who were raped and assaulted by their father submitted letters of reconciliation in court. Proceedings at the Lautoka court were closed to the public after the 47-year-old man told the court that his daughters and wife had forgiven him and produced the letters. He said he was very stressed and was in financial difficulty when he committed the offences. The alleged offences began almost six years ago when his elder daughter was 15 years old. He admitted raping his elder daughter and trying to rape and indecently assaulting the younger one, who was 12 years old. The matter came to light when the older daughter told a neighbor of the alleged incidents.18

Case Two
A 34 year-old soldier charged with assault appeared before the Chief Magistrate for assaulting his wife. The complainant approached the accused to discuss family problems. During the discussion an argument developed between the couple whereby the accused allegedly started punching the complainant. The complainant suffered injuries as a result and reported the matter to police.19

Case Three
A clergy couple, who strongly believed and most of the time practiced partnership in their marriage relationship, worked at a theological institution which in a way still adopts a hierarchical structure. He became somehow a victim of this hierarchy and dirty politics. This affected their relationship at home as their frustration was often let out on each other. One day their disappointment with the system contributed to a verbal argument which led to her saying a comment that really upset him. It made him so furious that he turned around and slapped her. She in return slapped him back, thus ending in a fist fight that gave both a share of bodily ache. She reported the incident to the Principal who met with them. After a session of sharing, the couple was told to go home, reconcile and pray about their problem. As the couple left, the Principal shared this confidential incident with his spouse, the project manager of the College and his vice-Principal, who in return spread it as a gossip to his colleagues and the students from his ethics group. The spouse of the principal as well as the project manager also shared the information with their colleagues. The news of the gossip got back to the couple who then regretted going to the College leaders for pastoral support, as it became a source of destruction rather than an agent of healing.20

Case One is only one example cited of the few reported cases of sexual abuse within and without the family. Many more cases remain unreported and are kept safe in the community and family closets. Most of those reported are incest cases where the perpetrators are either a brother, father, uncle, cousin, or grandfather. The victims of incest are as young as 3 months and as old as eighty-plus years. It is at such an alarmingly disgusting growth rate that one questions if the world has grown insane and is controlled by evil forces.

It is no doubt that there are many more cases of incest safely kept in secrecy to safeguard the name and the integrity of the family and the perpetrators, who are mostly family members or close friends and relatives. What about the integrity and the "being" of the children who have been ripped apart at the core of their existence? They are either forced to reconcile with the perpetrator, or the families seek means of reconciling with each other without taking the children's feelings into consideration at all.

Case Two speaks of an experience that many Pacific Islands women have in common. But only a few have the courage to report such an assault to the police or to seek support from a care-giving agency. Most of the women have at one time if not more times in their lives experienced an assault resulting within a relationship, marital or de facto.21 Couples, especially the men, resort22 to physical violence to end conflicts in relationships. In doing so, the family problems are neither resolved nor dissolved. It only gets suppressed whereby one partner must bail out of a disagreement. It is often the woman who is silenced in most disputes through the use of domestic violence.

Case Three explains the inability and the un-preparedness of leaders in theological institutions to play their pastoral roles when presented with real-life situations. In this case the leaders were very successful in turning one family dilemma into a topic for gossip. This is exactly the greatest fear of many women who are victims of domestic abuse in theological institutions: that their family problems will become a juicy gossip for the institutional community. Hence, the silence. Worst of all, hardly anyone offers to help or raise domestic violence as a problem that must be addressed and dealt with in theological institutions.23

It is no longer a secret that many ordained (male) clergy around the world and in Oceania are themselves perpetrators of sexual and domestic abuse. Often when cases of domestic and sexual violence24 by clergy are reported, the churches either transfer the clergy perpetrators to other parishes or countries as a discipline, or the incidents are covered up by the church. Very few are made to face the consequences of their acts.

Domestic violence must no longer be treated as something that goes away once the dispute is over. It is a vicious cycle that continues on sucking up victims and perpetrators as it moves from one generation to another. Perpetrators falsely believe that once the tears are dried and the bruises disappear the problem is also over. The victims are expected to be good forgiving Christians. Jesus' sufferings are often brought into play, with the argument that the women's sufferings are not even close to the suffering Jesus went through. Therefore, if Jesus could forgive those who crucified him, then the women must do likewise. This theological reasoning is extremely problematic when it is used to justify the endurance of continuous violence against women.

2. Violence against Women 25

"You can do to them, my virgin daughter, and his concubine, whatever you wish . . . Such a thing has never been seen or done "26 This passage from Judges is one of the forgotten passages and perhaps the least referred-to books of the Bible in sermons, bible studies and exegetical work in most theological schools, with the exception of feminist studies and theology. Yet it is one that clearly sanctions the abuse and torture of women at its ugliest. What an absurd text to theologise on even if it is to stress that it was done in the days when there was no king. On the other hand, it is a reminder of the terror of which mostly men are capable. It is not true that such a thing has never been seen or never happens. This horror has been done to the daughters and the spouses - whatever men wish. The ongoing domestic violence against women is a proof of this terror.

There is now more than ever a growing consciousness that violence against women is a serious unjustifable social ill affecting society at all levels in the Pacific. Numerous factors contribute to the increase of violence against women in the Pacific. As time and space does not allow for an elaboration on these numerous factors, and as this is a gathering for the World Conference of Association of Theological Institutes, this work then argues that theological education has indirectly contributed to the enhancement of this serious dilemma through the mis-interpretation of many biblical passages.

3. The Role of Theological Education and the Church

It has been a concern for many citizens in the island Pacific, especially the women, that the Pacific churches and theological institutions have not been prophetic at all in social issues, such as violence, that are affecting the lives of their members. Even if the church has in some small ways spoken out,27 it has not been loud enough to be heard. Yet domestic violence poses a life-threatening reality in the lives of most women and children, not only worldwide but right in our midst in the Pacific.28 The few victims who do have the courage to step forward fortunately can at times find refuge and solace in and from the care-giving services offered by the government,29 civil societies30 and private sectors in the pacific. The Pacific churches, on the other hand, are yet to be heard on this issue. That is a challenge for the churches and all of us here involved as educators in theological institutions. Where is our prophetic voice for and with the victims of violent abuses? What is the role of theological education in addressing this social issue?

Violence, in this case domestic violence against women, is an issue that the writer believes has been ignored by the churches and has been treated as a non-issue for too long in theological schools in the Pacific. It is time that this is addressed as an issue of concern in the church, especially in theological education. It is in the theological classrooms that the future church leaders and their spouses are supposedly being trained to deal with such cases in their ministries. Theological educators have a central role in raising the awareness of the theological students on how social issues are a 'checks and balances' reality check regarding the validity and the applicability of the theology taught in the classrooms.

In the island Pacific context, religion is the life-giving stream in most communities and the most influential of all is the Christian religion. The ordained ministers who are considered as the earthly messengers of the Christian God are treated with such awe and veneration. They remain still, despite the many changes in society, the most influential persons in the life of the congregation and most communities. The better equipped the ordained clergy are in their theological training to work with persons affected by life crises, the more aware and informed the parishioners will become of their role in the problem and in preventing serious consequences. The application of forgiveness and unconditional Christian love in violent cases only encourages more violence, thus avoiding dealing with the destructive violent behaviors. Forgiveness must go hand in hand with justice.


3.1 The Located-ness of Theological Education in the Problem

The greatest hindrance to the call to combat violence, in this case against women, lies in the inability of theological educators to locate the situated-ness of the problem in theological education. Theological students are either not equipped with the 'know-how' techniques to use in crisis situations, or the age old method of telling the spouses to be tolerant and forgiving is applied.

There is a general mentality among theological educators and theological associations that theological issues must be separated from social issues. It is stressed in many meetings of theological educators that I have attended in Oceania that social issues have no direct connection to theological education. Yet, a theological educator does not need to turn his or her head as the causes of many social issues are right there where he or she is. The problem of violence is deeply rooted in theological interpretations and church teachings. The theological institutions many times concentrate so single-mindedly on perfecting the intellect of the theological students and breeding outstanding academics that they overlook the missing link between the theoretical learning and the practicality of its outworking. Their students become transporters of the theoretical seeds planted in the theological classroom to the various parishes in which they will be placed. The fruitfulness of the theological nursery is tested when the planters are dispersed to work in the soil and with other gardeners. Often these students struggle to deal with the reality when they are placed in the field.

Those who have been perpetrators of violence against their spouses and children while in theological institutes and were never dealt with will continue to do so wherever they will be. They will also preach a theology that maintains the submission of women as their God-given role. Those who were in institutions where domestic violence cases were never addressed as a problem will also carry that mentality that it is a family matter, and therefore it should be kept within the family.

It cannot be denied that the cultural and Christian teaching that the husband is the head of the family has a lot to do with the perpetration of domestic violence. Women are taught that they must respect mean at all times, the men "out of" whose bone she came. It is her sole role to bear and raise children for the continuance of the lineage and to keep the household in order. This is the influence of (the literal) interpretation of the second creation story in Genesis. It is such a central understanding that this paper claims to be a contributing factor to the problem of domestic violence against women.

The mis-interpretation of the second creation story in Genesis is a prime example of how the Bible is often misused. The interpretation alluded to by many Pacific Islanders, for instance to Genesis 2: 23 ("you are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh out of man this one is taken"), is often distorted to justify violence.

Instead of upholding the created-ness of woman for the sake of partnership and companionship, the emphasis is on ownership and possession.31 Such distortion often upholds the standards of submissiveness set by the church, based on Biblical misinterpretation, thus leading to domestic violence and the perpetuation of violence.

3.2 The Located-ness of the Pacific Churches in the Problem

The island Pacific societies and communities are just as much in this problem as anywhere in the world. We have already made the case that domestic violence has destroyed the well-being of many women in the Pacific. One secular counselor shared that most of the cases she dealt with were almost always violence related. She shared that the majority of these clientele state that their ministers and their spouses would be the last persons they would consult on their problem. This had to do not only with cultural expectations but also to do with the teachings of the churches on their roles as women in upholding peace within the family.

The Pacific Islanders' churches are thus yet to identify their social location in this problem and their need to rethink the ways in which their Biblical interpretation and theology have contributed to the problem.

The core of the problem, speaking as a Pacific Islands Christian, has to do with the passivity of the church on this issue. Some aspects of the Church's theology and practices ignite the burning flame of abuse against women. One of the saddest discoveries I have had is the inability of theological students to openly admit and identify domestic violence as a problem. Yet some of them have resorted to violence themselves as a solution to domestic conflicts.

The churches' continuous usage of the traditional marriage rites has been another source of bondage for women in abusive relationships. The rites re-inforce an understanding that the man is given through marriage the divine authority to rule over the woman. This divine authority must never be challenged. Therefore many women endure being abused for life because their church teaches that marriage vows made before God are sacred and must be kept "till death do us part," and that regardless of the hardship "those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder." ((Matt. 19:6)

3.3 Voices of the Theologically Trained on Violence against Women

In preparation for this presentation and for a thorough research on the issue addressed above, a questionnaire with nine questions was drafted32 and distributed to three different groups. One group consisted of international doctoral candidates who were doing a summer course at the San Francisco Theological School in 2002. The other group included theological students at the Pacific Theological College, the only regional ecumenical theological institution in the Pacific island nations,33 in Suva, Fiji. Students from fourteen different denominations representing eleven ethnic groups are currently enrolled there. In order to get a wider framework within which to work, a group of theological students from one particular ethnic group was also included.

The majority of the persons in the three groups are ordained clergy. This may be reflected in the way they responded to the questions. As a pilot core group it was hoped that 10 responses would come from each group, with a balanced number of five women and five men. The purpose is to find out if and how the theology they are taught in the classroom influences the way they look at the theme addressed in this paper, and whether their social location also determines the way they respond to the questions.

Since the questions address the core of the churches' theology, and especially related to the marriage sacrament, time is definitely needed to sit down and reflect carefully on the questions. The respondents were not given enough time to work on this. This explains why the expected number (30 altogether) was not reached. As a result, only 6 responded from the first group and five from the second one. This paper will only discuss these two groups and concentrate on the responses given to two questions.

The six respondents from the first group all answered, in response to one question, that there is a connection between the traditional view of wives as being derived from and subservient to their husband and the sanctioning of violence against women.34 One commented that if men must always be obeyed without question there will always be questions of 'why'. Another wrote that women have often been told to stress 'obedience to' and have been encouraged to accept their secondary, submissive, even inferior role. She continued that she had had women ask her how they can disobey their husband when they promised to obey them. This understanding is often reflected in sermons also.

The responses from the second group were interesting as they were not only all men but none responded yes or no to the above-mentioned question. Rather, they gave long explanations indicating that women should obey men. One pointed out that women are owned by their husbands in his context, but the men were taught not to "give their hands because the women are weak." Another spelled out that the traditional idea that women were created out of man is the root of all domestic violence against women.

In analysing the two groups it was apparent that both were very cautious in the way they answered the questions, making sure that their churches were not put on the spot. It was also clear that the theology that they are taught and their cultural understanding shaped the way they responded. The second group tended to talk more as a community member defending the communal values and the communal system. The other group reflected more the values of the individual and their own personal experiences. The women respondents were more up-front in pointing out that violence is a universal problem faced by women, and that the teaching and the theology of the church has had a lot to do with it. Men also agreed but more as a generational and cultural problem.

The fact that all of these respondents are theologically trained explains the theologising done in the way they responded.

4. Clues for Transformation

Associations of Theological Schools are in an influential position to introduce structured devices to implement changes that will shape and form the curriculum of the theological schools to take this up as one of its important programs. What is seriously needed in all theological schools in the Pacific is the development of a curriculum that looks into the teaching and the theology of their churches in relation to the issue of violence. It must be explored how the marriage liturgy in most church traditions upholds the superiority of the male partner in the vows for life partnership before God. A good example is the Pauline teaching in Ephesians 5: 21-33 : The statement " for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church" has been literally interpreted as a support for suppressing women. This was cited by almost all the respondents as the text used almost always in wedding ceremonies, emphasising the places of the couples in their marriage. A section of the curriculum must look at the book of Genesis, especially both creation stories, and how it promotes violence and the subjugation of women.

4.1 Concrete Proposals: One Way Forward

Weavers, a program of the South Pacific Association of Theological Schools advocating for women in theological education, has chosen to focus on Domestic Violence against Women as its core program for the next three years. It is holding a forum for the public and its member schools based in Fiji inviting various experts to talk on "Violence against Women: and the Struggle Against it." This will be followed by a leadership training event for the Clergy Spouses studying with their husbands at the Pacific Theological College, on Conflict Management. The last event for the coming year is a seminar for the 25 SPATS member schools on the same issue. The purpose is to train the trainers to start their own program against violence in their local schools.

4.2 No More Violence in Paradise: A Plea from the Pacific Women

Strengthened and encouraged by each other and the unconditional love of God we reached out to each other and shared our painful experiences and stories of the violences against women throughout our Pacific Islands.

We heard of lack of support by Governments, churches and the society as a whole for women in violent situations either at home or at work or in society.

We wept for the thousands of women who, because of cultural and religious pressures have suffered violence silently and alone.

We heard that for thousands of women and girls, home is no longer a safe place, but a place of fear, pain and terror. For example, in Papua New Guinea 67% of violence reported in the rural areas and 54% in the urban areas are in the home.

We are confronted with the knowledge that our cultures have been used as justification for violence against women.

We acknowledge that the kind of theology taught by the church not only perpetuates violence against women but often condones violence.

We listened to the stories of the betrayal of women and children's trust by the clergy through acts of sexual harassment and abuse.

We mourn the thousands of women and girls who are raped.

We discover the painful reality that we are often victims of these destructive acts of violence.

We affirm that we are survivors of the violence and committed to struggle until justice is done.

We listened, we heard, we struggled, we wept and we prayed.

(Apia Declaration, March 12-15, 1996. SAMOA: No More Violence in Paradise)

Conclusion

I would like to conclude by stressing that any issue to do with God's creation is an issue for theological discussion in and for the churches and theological institutions. Therefore these issues must be at the core of theological education.

This work concludes with a request to the communities in the Pacific / Oceania and to all of you gathered here to, FIRST, assist in identifying our social location in this problem and in rethinking the ways in which Biblical interpretations and theology have contributed to the problem. SECOND, it calls us to remember the untold stories of women who have been victims of domestic violence; and THIRD, it pleads for a contribution to the call of worldwide activists to overcome violence against women. And most important of all, for us as educators to make a rhythm for justice in theological education with the beat of our hearts, performed by the actions of our hands and rooted in God through the gifts of the spirit; our intellect.

1 Oceania is used interchangably to refer to the Pacific Island nations. The indigenous population of the Pacific Island nations continues to value their strong connectedness to the land (fanua) and the Sea (Moana) as was relayed through their oral tradition by their ancestors. It is also more fitting to refer to this region as Oceania than Pacific as it consists more of ocean and continues to hold the ocean and the land as their sacred heritage.

2 As I am expected to discuss a women's issue from the Pacific, this work deliberately avoids addressing the theme as a purely academic issue. This presentation focuses primarily on citing incidents confronting the lives of the islanders as presented in the local newspapers and not so much on other sources as is expected for a gathering of academics such as this one. The writer is familiar with the viewpoints expressed by various scholar on the issue. She has chosen to dwell only on presenting violence against women as a serious problem that the churches and theological institutes in Oceania must address now.

3 Social issues such as violence are almost never addresses nor included in the curriculum of theological institutes, at least in the Pacific context. There is a mentality that they are issues for social services and civil societies and not for theological education/classrooms.

4 See for instance the writings of Marie M. Fortune such as Violence in the Family: A Workshop Curriculum for Clergy and Other Helpers; Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for Abused Women; Love Does no Harm: Sexual Ethics for the Rest of Us; Is Nothing Sacred? When Sex Invades the Pastoral Relationship.

5 For example, in an attempt to combat violence worldwide, the World Council of Churches in conjunction with the United Nations launched in February of 2001, in Berlin the Decade to Overcome Violence (DOV). Many other care-giving services around the world have been actively involved in finding means to eradicate this problem.

6 "Police statistics reveal reported sexual offences rose by 20 per cent this year compared to last year with incest having the highest figure in the category. As at June last year, 218 cases of sexual offences were reported compared to 262 for the same period this year." Imran Ami "Father under probe for sex crimes" The Fiji Times, Friday November 15, 2002, p. 3.
.
7 The current ongoing crisis in the northern hemisphere is a primary example: The United States of America uses violence to counter violence. Terrorist acts are used to get a message across. These are done at the expense of the innocent and the vulnerables who are predominantly women and children and all in the name of power.

8 The writer is currently working in the islands of Fiji . Therefore she mainly concentrate on the incidents reported in the Fiji media. The actual incidents presented in this paper are taken from the three Fijian newspapers: The Fiji Times, Sun and the The Daily Post. It is by no means indicating that this is the only island nation with an increase in such criminal acts. It is only representative on the evilness of violence affecting all nations and sweeping through the whole universe.

9 B. is alleged to have raped a 24-year old American tourist while she was taking a walk. The victim was repeatedly raped at gunpoint during the night and was only able to escape after B. fell asleep in the early morning. The Daily Post, Thursday, September 12, 2002.p. 7.

10 A villager was sentenced to 10 years . . . for sexually abusing eight children . . . between the ages of four and nine . . . The 64-year-old said he had reconciled with church elders and parents of the victims and was forgiven. The Fiji Times, Friday. June 28, 2002. P.3.

11 Avinesh Gopal in her article "Child molester goes to prison" reported that "A man was jailed for two years for indecently assaulting his10-year old neighbor. The accused had gone to the victim's house and told her to send her younger sister to a neighbor's house. When the victim's sister left, the accused then undressed the victim and touched her private parts. He also undressed himself, rubbed his private parts against the victim's thighs and left the house. The Fiji Times, Wednesday, April 24, 2002, pp.8.

12 Sanday Gounder a journalist for the Sun newspaper in Fiji wrote that "A Lautoka father who has allegedly sexually assaulted his two daughters yesterday pleaded guilty on rape and two counts of indecent assault before the Lautoka Magistrates Court." Sun, Tuesday November 12, 2002. Page 2.

13 A 37 year old man was yesterday sentenced to four years imprisonment for abducting a girl under the age of 18 years with intent to have carnal knowledge and indecently assaulting her. (He) confronted her by closing her mouth with his hand and dragged her to a nearby vacant house. At the house he forced her to remove her clothes, laid her down and touched her private parts. He took off his trousers and tried to have intercourse with her. Charlotte Peters "Sexual offender cops 4-year term" Sun, Tuesday, November 12, 2002.

14 A (63 ­year-old) man who indecently assaulted nine children (between the ages of four to eleven) was remanded in custody for his own safety after admitting the offences. The Fiji Times. Wednesday, June 12, 2002, p. 3.

15 Sakiasi Nawaikama " Sex cases on the increase." The Fiji Times, Monday, April 22, 2002, p.5. The reporter wrote that ' There is an increase in crimes of this nature (sexual assaults), says Women Crisis Center Coordinator Shameema Ali. She said the recent case of a man who raped his younger sister showed the serious level incest cases have reached These cases have been there but they are beginning to come out because it's being talked about. There is an increase in these sort of acts against women."

16 "An argument broke out between the two (husband and wife) and minutes later the husband started assaulting her and during the process she picked up a cane knife and swung it at him."

17 A father raped his partially crippled daughter for a period of almost three weeks until she could not hide it anymore and broke the sick news to her mother who then reported the matter to the Fiji Women's Crisis Centre. She (the victim) is partially crippled from the waist down. This is probably the sickest and biggest sexual offence ever committed in Fiji. Raymond Singh. "Father rapes crippled daughter" in The Daily Post. Wednesday, October 2, 2002, p,1.

18 Seema Sharma. " Daughter give letters of reconciliation" in The Fiji Times, Wednesday, November 20, 2002 p. 5

19 The Daily Post, Friday march 22, 2002

20 The source wishes to remain anonymous.

21 Often both partners contribute to the misunderstandings in the marriage or a relationship. Both are victims of other forms of violence such as emotional, psychological, verbal etc. The issue here is not to discuss who and what caused the problem. The point is to stress that men are more prone to resort to physical violence to deal with family difficulties. As a consequence the women are almost always the victims of violent abuses. And this is the problem that this paper attempts to highlight.

22 This is not to say that women are not perpetrators of violence also in other forms. There are also men who are victims of violent women. But they are a small (1 :100) minority in comparison to the many women (8 :10).

23 One of the longest series of books to be written on violence would be on the experiences of domestic violence of the clergy spouses.

24 In the last couple of months, cases of priests in the Roman Catholic church in the United States molesting children and other abuses have been the headline in the world news and the media in the Pacific. It is not only in the Roman Catholic church, many ordained clergies in the Pacific are guilty of having extra marital affairs and taking sexual advantages of young women . The only difference is that it is still on the top of the secret lists of the churches.

25 This paper is the project section of a dissertation the writer is currently working on titled "Bone of my bones out of man this one is taken: A Theological Problem."

26 Judges 19: 24, 30. (NIV)

27 The now dissolved Pacific women's desk of the Pacific Council of Churches (PCC) co-facilitated with the women's desk of the World Council of Churches a seminar on violence against women for selected Pacific women in 1989. As the participants were chosen from among and limited to the spouses of the church leaders and women leaders themselves, this seminar was not known to the other 99% of women and men. And since it was an initiative that came from and by the women, it was never taken up seriously by the Pacific churches. As a result, it was never followed up as an issue of great importance for the church nor was it mandated to be an important program of the PCC.

28 Many church leaders and theological educators (who are predominantly men) in the Pacific churches will strongly disagree with this statement. While it can not be denied that men (very few, if any at all in the Pacific) also suffer domestic violence, statistics reveal that the majority of domestic related violence are against women and children.

The writer believes that the Pacific folk, especially the churches, are slowly in the process of coming out of denying that there is such a major problem. It may take several more years before the church is confident to announce that violence is a problem in the / and for the church. This work therefore focuses only on identifying violence as a serious problem especially for women and children. It also poses the problem of violence, as a challenge for the South Pacific Association of Theological Schools (SPATS) to look at, especially the role theological education plays in this problem as well as other social issues

29 The Violence Against Women workshop training for men begins at the Naviti Resort on Sunday. In an earlier meeting members of the taskforce on eliminating violence against women discussed strategies to involve men from all levels of of society. Permanent secretary for Justice Alipate Qetaki said the aim of the project which includes the training of male trainers on November 18, is the formulation of a bill on violence against women. Seinimil Lewa " Men discuss the problems of Women," in The Fiji Times, Friday, November 15, 2002, pp. 5.

30 Civil societies in the Pacific have been very active in addressing social issue that are detrimental to the lives of the Pacific people. Many have been the prophetic voice that is expected of the church.

31 The majority of the Pacific men and women that I asked responded that the woman was solely created as the helper to the man. And that the Bible clearly states that the husband is the head of the family therefore, she is to obey and do as he wishes.

32 The questionnaire form is appended as Appendix 1

33 PTC is owned by 17 member churches from 11 Pacific Island nations. It is an interdenominational institute with an international faculty and an ecumenical atmosphere.

34 The six (three women and three men) are member of five different denominations. And their age varies from early 50s to early 70s.

Topic: Bone of my Bones and Flesh of my Flesh... out of man this one is taken.

1. In your church's standard wedding ceremony, are husbands and wives viewed exactly the same, or are there any differences - eg., does the wife promise to 'obey' the husband but not vice-versa; does the liturgy refer to 'man and wife' rather than 'husband and wife'?

2. How have these customs influenced what has been considered to be the acceptable relationship between husbands and wives?

3. What has been your church's traditional teaching in general regarding the relative status and duties of husbands and wives/men and women?

4. What scriptural and theological arguments have been used to back up this teaching?

6. What is your understanding of Adam's statement in Genesis 2:23 - "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one is taken"?

7. How has your church interpreted the above passage traditionally, in terms of the common portrayal of women as being derived from and therefore inferior to men?

8. Do you see any connections between the traditional view of wives as being derived from and subservient to their husbands and the sanctioning of violence aaninst women? Explain:

9. What overall changes are needed in your church's teaching and practice regarding the status of women?

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Russell, Diana. Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Sexual Abuse and Sexuu/ Harassment. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage, 1984.

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Schmidt, Ruth. "After the Fact: To Speak of Rape." Christian Century (Jan. 6-13, 1993): 14.

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